I wanna go shopping...you know for the weather.

A full scale of events are always bound to happen right before you embark on something big. Like losing my keys or my mind for example. After a week of pretending that this wasn't happening and indulging in frozen yogurt and sunshine for the last time, my chore list grew and expanded until I found myself on the floor unable to breathe. JJ and I had just gotten home from running an important moving errand. An errand that turned into side glances in the windows of clothing shops, to "going in for a quick minute", to browsing through racks, to the shop of a lifetime. Oh, and the errand? Forget it. "OK just deep breaths, J. You're gonna be alright," my friend consoles me. Of course I would be alright, I knew that much. But since when is that enough for anybody. I want riches, fame, and success. I should probably be moving to Hollywood instead put my drama to good use. But I am till on the path to the Midwest where my dreams will either come true or get frostbitten. As I lay on the ground doing my zen breathing the exercises I learned at Berkeley Yoga Toga, I over look a the the new boots I bought at H&M and decide that buying new clothes "for the weather" can no longer be justified as packing. Of course I am not entirely sure I would have an address to send my belongings to even if I somehow did get them in boxes by moving date. My future landlord is as flakey as a California hippie. "Yeah, no worries, Jackie...I'll get the lease to you tomorrow. But the apartment is all yours." Two weeks later...tomorrow still hasn't come. "You just can stay with me while you keep looking for a spot," my friend Ella tells me. "I just hope you don't mind sleeping next to me in bed, ha!" The ironic thing is that I was originally going to rent out the available room in her house. But I decided that I didn't want to live with housemates any more. Or with three cats. I was far beyond that stage. Now I am back to sharing a room like sisters in grade school. Maybe. Not much I can do all the way from Oakland, anyhow. They must think I am not seriously coming. My grandfathers BBQ birthday in Livermore wine country just yesterday confirmed this notion. "So where are you moving out again?" "Minnesota." "Oh! Its so cold there. When are you going?" "Saturday" "What?! So soon? I thought you would be leaving next year or so." The evening turned from granddads 79th birthday to "let's interrogate Jackie". Yet family is family and they left me with multiple toasts to wish me luck as well with tales of their wild adventures in their 20s. I learned that anxiety is nothing a little alcohol and laughter can't fix. And a pair of swanky new boots. You know, for the weather.

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