Boy Shmoy!

My ex ex ex boyrfriend. Three guys back into my past. The one that has spontaeously reappared into my life at various stages since we broke up and "remained friends". I had an epiphany that we should be together about a year ago when I was having some trouble with my now ex-boyfriend (one guy back) and still hating ex ex boyfriend (two guys back). Thats when I decided to call T out of the blue. He has a good ear for listening. We talked for two hours. I hung up the phone euphoric. We began talking regularly. Every night. I went to Minnesota to visit him. (Well, I technically went to Minneapolis to visit my father but he attempted to force a curfew upon me even and we had a dispute. So Twon and I spent night together in Coutyard Marriot.) Magic. Then he flew to the West we spent three glorious days in San Fransciso. Nothing but fresh oysters, wine tasting, and sight seeing. We couldn't seem to remember why we broke up. Youth is to blame, we figured. But I knew it couldn't last. We live in separtate worlds. I got emotional when it was time to part ways, not knowing what would happen. I tried to move on. Maintain our strange intermittent, everchanging "friendship". And so now here I am in Minnesota...soon to sign a lease on my newfound uptown studio. Twon calls me shortly after I get off work and asks to see me. I accept and we enjoy an evening of thai food in Dinkytown and a late-night movie at his apartment. On his bed. I wasn't planning on spending the night. But I also wasn't planning on drinking or going into his room. No. I had promised to protect myself from heartache. He is my good friend. A good friend that knows just where to touch and...the thing is I like passion just as much the next girl. But for some reason I keep getting involved with the same three ex-boyfriends. Its like a laundry rotation. Or a movie on repeat. I came here for a freah start, not for old baggage. So why then did I react when he rolled over and turned his back on me to go to sleep? "Do you love me?" Please tell me I didn't say that. Poor T just looks at me. I can barely make out his form in the dark. But I'd have to be a rock not to sense the confusion. "Uh..yea". This in turn only infuriates me. Before I can think straight I am on highway 100 driving away. I want to admit I didn't move across the country for a guy. That's stupid. Especially when he warned me he wasn' ready. I moved here for...the snow! Yea, that's it. A beautiful white winter and the snow. And as someone once said..."Forget love. I'd rather fall in chocolate!"

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4 Response to "Boy Shmoy!"

  1. armelleannette Says:
    September 27, 2010 at 2:19 AM

    yeah, jackie...choc are most lovely than guys=)

  2. Kate Weber says:
    October 19, 2010 at 2:40 PM

    Bah. Boys suck. And I wish I had your love for Snow. I would prefer to get away from it.

    November 9, 2010 at 8:19 AM

    I don't know why, but I have a habit of HATING ALL MY EX'S...its just a reflex

  4. King of New York Hacks says:
    December 24, 2010 at 12:52 AM

    Seems like you are on your way to figuring out the best for you. Remember that you and you alone are the most important gift to give, don't let people take that for granted and soon you will see many good things happen for you. Merry Christmas. Peace.

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